Findom is a fetish that involves a submissive being financially dominated by another. Though it has been around to varying degrees for many years, it has seen a public surge in recent times, especially through Twitter. A Dom in this scenario might receive gifts and/or money from the finsub, often called a tribute.
Historically, I never viewed findom as abusive. It is a niche fetish certainly, but a transactional one. The finsubs I had known were almost always financially secure with a mentally demanding life, and practicing their fetish was a release. What I see today parading itself as findom is a farce, a ‘take the money and run’ scheme that has no place in responsible power exchange.
Regardless of the kink or fetish, adults need to remember that your livelihood is your first Dom. your existing financial obligations are your priority. Reducing your debt is your priority. Ensuring that you have a home, food, and a livelihood are your priorities. “No limits” sounds great until you’re sleeping on the street. Any Dom who would have you put your existing obligations in jeopardy is not worth your time.
Responsible domination requires a great deal of forethought. Domination is about protecting your subs from harm; what responsible adult would knowingly damage their own property? Ignoring a sub’s livelihood and existing financial needs is irresponsible at best and abusive at worst.
You are dealing with people, and people have needs. If your brand of financial domination is nothing more than “gimme gimme” without regard for the basic needs of the sub, you’re an irresponsible ass who has no business in the D/s world.
The SentimentalDom School of Financial Domination
Okay, so that’s not a real thing, but maybe it should be. It’s just a joke borne out of my frustration over seeing yet another sub harmed by irresponsible and dismissive domination. Where are the findoms who order their subs to increase their credit scores and invest in their futures?
While we are on the subject of responsible domination, I’ll go on to say that responsible Doms encourage their subs to take care of their physical and mental health, too. But we’re not ready for that conversation.