While I’m not lazy by any stretch of the imagination, I don’t like to repeat myself. Rather than try and type out my kinky curriculum vitae every time someone asks, I have created this page as a jumping off point for anyone who wants to know where my interests lie. This is not comprehensive, nor is it a list of requirements. These are interest areas in which I have experience. Chances are very good that nothing on this list or not will happen unless and until we have established rapport and chemistry.
A Note on Health
Before we go any further, let’s talk about health and wellness. I am HIV-negative and have taken a pre-exposure prophylaxis (PrEP) for several years to protect myself against contracting HIV. As a result I am screened quarterly for HIV and other STIs. I have also received vaccines to protect against meningitis and monkeypox, and strongly suggest that you do the same. Talk to your doctor or local health department for more information.
Mental health is as important as physical health. I take daily medication for anxiety and talk to a therapist regularly.
A Note on Drug / Alcohol Use
Both sex and scene play require enthusiastic consent, which I cannot obtain when my partner is in an altered state. While I do not judge people for what they choose to do in their own lives and with their own bodies, I will not engage in sex or scene play with someone who is under the influence of a mind and/or mood-altering substance. There are rare exceptions to this rule which will exclusively apply to people with whom I am in an established relationship. Even in those cases, boundaries will be clearly defined when both of us are in a safe, sober, stable, sane, and unpressured environment.
What do I call you?
My name is Michael, so that’s generally a good place to start. Note that I am not Mike, so please don’t call me by that name. If you are looking for a way to show respect, Sir is a good nod in that direction, but honorifics are earned, not expected and I do not tend to require the use of any specific honorific so long as you are showing respect. Dad or Daddy are also fine if they are comfortable for you.
What do you find attractive?
I am attracted to a lot of physical types and traits. I love my bears, but that doesn’t mean I don’t also enjoy other body types. I love body hair, but it isn’t required to capture my attention. Facial hair is also a big turn on. The easiest explanation is that I like people who are real. Your body doesn’t need to fit anyone’s definition to be worthy of attention. Own what you’ve got and love yourself.
Level 1 Interests
I know the intent behind it and yet the question what are you into? befuddles me every time. In my brain, it means I need a list, and lists make me feel like I’m being forced into a box. In lieu of an actual conversation though, sometimes lists are necessary. I will break this up into levels, each level building up to the next. If you can’t make it through level 1, then attempting level 2 or beyond is going to be a real challenge.
Demisexual: In order for me to feel much more than initial passing interest in someone, I tend to need some chemistry going on. It doesn’t mean we’re in love, it means there is a spark between us.
Pansexual: I use this term to describe my sexuality. In short, it means that I can feel the spark of chemistry and attraction described above in someone regardless of their gender, gender expression, or sexual identity.
Polyamorous: Polyamory means that I have more than one intimate relationship simultaneously, and that I do so openly. I am happily married. I am also in a committed relationship with my boy Rob and with a man I call Son. My partners are aware of and know each other because open and honest communication matters.
Consent: It infuriates me that this is still a discussion we have to have in 2022, but consent matters and without it, there isn’t going to be anything more than conversation. Consent is not an obstacle and it doesn’t interfere with or interrupt the mood. You can read more about how I frame consent and what it means here.
Level 2 Interests
Listed alphabetically, not by order of preference:
- Anal sex
- Body contact
- Mutual masturbation
- Oral sex
- Sensual massage
Level 3 Interests
In this level we go beyond the basics and delve into kink. If the scope of your interests is encompassed above, you only need to continue reading if you are considering more. Remember that nothing on this page beyond Level 1 is a requirement. Listed alphabetically, not by order of preference:
- Bondage – light
- Discipline – light
- Domination/submission – light
- Mindplay – basic
- Puppy play
- Rubber / latex
Level 4 Interests
Advanced kink, listed alphabetically, not by order of preference:
- Bondage – advanced, restrictive
- Chastity / Orgasm control
- Choking / Breath play
- Cock & ball torture (CBT)
- Consensual Non-Consensuality (CNC)
- Degradation / Humiliation
- Discipline – advanced
- Domination/submission – advanced
- Fire play
- Flogging / Whipping
- Gimp play
- Hypnosis / Mind control
- Impact play
- Interrogation scenes
- Odaxelagnia (biting/being bitten)
- Piercing – temporary
- Rough sex
- Sensory deprivation
- Shibari (rope bondage)
As mentioned, this is not a comprehensive list, it is a jumping off point for discussion and negotiation. If your interests lie beyond what you find here, ask me about them. I have a wide range of experience, and few hard limits.