Setting the Stage

That first night together ended at the diner. Something about the long, sweet, and platonic courtship with Tor made me value getting to know them more than getting them in bed. We agreed to meet for lunch the next day. I didn’t factor in how long it would take me to get home from Philly and get back into town on a Saturday, but the lack of sleep was offset by the odd feeling of curious excitement.

Why was I so drawn to a couple, and why were they so drawn to me? We had no idea, but it was clear that something was happening. We didn’t have anything upon which to model our relationship; we weren’t even sure if calling it a relationship was the right thing to do at first. Social media wasn’t around yet, and cute words like ‘throuple’ weren’t being tossed around. Still, we somehow managed to figure out what worked for us, and it truly worked.

Tor and Ralph had been a committed couple for several years by the time we met. That’s why it surprised all of us how easily and comfortably we became a triad. I was a few years younger, and I distinctly remember how people in public would quickly relegate me to ‘boy toy’ status. I also remember how quick Tor & Ralph were to correct them every time.

“He’s not a boy or a toy; he’s our partner and our Sir. Show respect.”

They served me with love and respect. It was an empowering and uplifting dynamic for all of us. The most beautiful thing about exploring our relationship was watching how their love for me was like a shot of adrenaline to their love for each other. It was that experience that helped me understand that society had no business dictating what is – and is not – a healthy relationship. Three adults in a committed and loving partnership can be a hell of a lot healthier than a married couple that cheats on each other.

When I look back, I don’t think either of them ever called me Michael again after that first night at the bar. To them I was “Sir” or “mein Herr”. It was never discussed, it just was. While it was my Sir and Mentor who taught me what power exchange was, it was Tor and Ralph who taught me how it felt in real time.