“It has always seemed strange to me… the things we admire in men, kindness and generosity, openness, honesty, understanding and feeling, are the concomitants of failure in our system. And those traits we detest, sharpness, greed, acquisitiveness, meanness, egotism and self-interest, are the traits of success. And while men admire the quality of the first they love the produce of the second.”
John Steinbeck
The quote above came to mind while I was thinking about social media recently. I saw someone bare their soul and their body, saw them be vulnerable in an effort to face down their demons of self-loathing, inadequacy, and body dysmorphia. In that raw moment, you might have thought (I did) that people would come out of the woodwork to surround this young man with support, encouragement, and love. That isn’t what happened and I haven’t stopped thinking about it.
Isn’t it interesting how our society says that we could be kind, compassionate, honest, and loving, but rewards self-importance and stepping on others to ‘get ahead’? I feel helpless most of the time when it comes to social media because I need to maintain an active presence for my work, but I don’t naturally want to be a public person. You’re probably looking at your screen saying “Yeah right. You created this website to tell people more about you.” That’s true, but I didn’t do it to garner attention, I did it with the hope that someone might read what I write here and come to a better understanding that we can – and should – be loving and compassionate toward people who are different.
By all accounts, a lot of people respect me, generally speaking. I fill this website with blog post after blog post and page after page, because I have the opportunity to peel back a curtain that helps people see that the man they already respect is also all these other things. Some of the people who read this website and learn those things about me will choose to walk away, and that’s ok. I have not survived nearly 50 years on this planet to chase people who walk away because I tell them who I am.
I’m not here to hide. I’m here to be a loving, compassionate, kind, generous human in a time where those traits are in short supply. In whatever time I have left I will share my life with my family. I will share my experience with anyone who wants to learn because in that vulnerability I also share hope.
You can be respected and still be kinky. Or poly. Or asexual. Or fat, or skinny, or trans. I know it can be a scary world out there, but there are people like me out here who will love you exactly as you are, without prequalifiers or judgement. I know the trolling social media assholes scream louder, and that the negativity they spread cuts deeper, but you are beautiful and I just wanted you to know that today.
And never forget that I love you.
Love,
