Don’t fall prey to “If only” thinking. Those are the thoughts that would have us believe that if this magical thing would happen, things would automatically be great and we would live happily ever after.
If I could just win the lottery…
If I got a better job…
If only he loved me like I love him…
This idea is sometimes referred to as “the grass is always greener”, and it all refers to the same thing: telling yourself that this one thing would make it all better. The problem is that thinking this way takes us out of the present, and it certainly doesn’t give a lot of room to fully appreciate what we have right now. A few years ago I saw a revision of the quote that said, “The grass is greener where you water it.”
We all fall prey to “if only” at one time or another, so I’d like to offer a suggestion the next time you do. When you think “If only”, let the scenario play out using critical thinking skills. What happens next? Throw in a pros and cons list or a cost-benefit analysis. Instead of just focusing on how much that thing would improve your life, think about the other things that would be affected by it as well.
The Butterfly Effect is real, and it’s beneficial to think beyond ourselves and realize how every decision we make can impact others.
Never forget that I love you, and that excludes no one.
Love,
