Be careful with your words, once they are said, they can only be forgiven, not forgotten.

Carl Sandberg

Dear one,

I love the power and versatility of words. I love that they cross all sort of boundaries from distance to socioeconomic status. You’d think that after so many years of being in this love affair, I might have reached some sort of word-Zen mountaintop, but that’s not how that cookie crumbled.

I still react when I should be acting. I still lash out when I’m hurt. A lifetime of trauma has to go somewhere, and if I’m not consistently mindful of the traffic circle from HEAD-to-HEART-to-MOUTH-to-HEAD-to-HEART-to-MOUTH, sometimes I get off at the wrong exit. Such was the case this weekend when I said something when I should have taken my own advice and said nothing.

I didn’t do my HALT (hungry, angry, lonely, tired) check in, when in fact more than one of those applied. As a result, I said something in a moment of hurt that I can’t take back. The frustrating thing about that interaction is that the word-barb in question actually stole the attention away from the fact that something was bothering me. Instead of saying “this thing hurt me and I’d like to find a time to talk about it,” I said something hurtful.

Now, instead of dealing with what hurt me in the first place, I have to deal with the fallout from my reaction to what hurt me. This is where an inspirational writer would insert “lesson learned,” but I am a work in progress, and I dare not claim that I’ve fixed what’s broken simply because I can name it. But I am doing the work, and the work continues.

Never forget that I love you, and that excludes no one.


User Avatar

About Sentimental Dom

Michael Nolan is The Sentimental Dom. He wants you to keep your chin up, treat everyone with dignity, compassion, and respect, and drink more water.

You Might Also Like...

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *