We learn more by looking for the answer to a question and not finding it than we do from learning the answer itself.

Lloyd Alexander

Dear one,

I’ve been brainstorming lately about one of the series I have planned for Kinky Tales on my Adult page. I haven’t started writing Embracing the Unknown yet, because I wanted to take my time to flesh out the story and have an outline first, but several things – starting with the quote that leads this letter – converged in my head this morning that all related to the idea behind the story, which lead me to talk more about the underlying subject.

Alexander wasn’t really on my radar because he wrote fantasy books for kids, but that quote reminded me that sometimes seeking is more important than finding. That same idea has echoed through me from different angles for years, brought on initially when I began studying Tibetan Buddhism. Ralph Waldo Emerson said something related when he wrote, “It’s not the destination, it’s the journey.”

Being fully present in the here and now is a recurring theme in my work because I don’t think its importance can be overstated. Embracing the Unknown is going to be the story of someone who has come to terms with who they are later in life. It’s about more than the not knowing, it’s about how the uneasiness of not knowing can become our best friend with a shift in mindset.

Another quote that my mind goes back to as I write this is something my granny said when I was a kid. We were talking about a young person in the church who had been sick for a while and eventually passed away. I made a comment about god not answering all the prayers that were raised for that young man, and granny immediately responded in her trademark relaxed manner, “God always answers prayers. Sometimes the answer is no.”

Even though I don’t subscribe to christian beliefs, that statement had a bigger lesson to each me about the unknown. I took away the thought that embracing the unknown is also about trusting that I don’t always have the answers, and that’s ok. It’s more important that I trust the process and view it as a learning experience wherein the lessons may not always have the outcomes I want. To embrace the unknown is to let go of expectations in order to hold on to the concept that we don’t have to know the answers to be ok right now.

Longfellow said it well: “The best thing one can do when it’s raining is to let it rain.”

Never forget that I love you, and that excludes no one.


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About Sentimental Dom

Michael Nolan is The Sentimental Dom. He wants you to keep your chin up, treat everyone with dignity, compassion, and respect, and drink more water.

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